Ramblings of a Widower

God's wisdom as it echos through my brain.

Beginnings from Endings

2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

It’s not that we, as Christians, need to worry about how the world is starting to define marriage, but rather our focus should be on the marriages in our Christian community. I am oddly finding myself amidst several couples whose marriages are on rocky ground or in a perfect storm. But it seems so clear that hearts have hardened, the hurt has been done, and there’s no return to honest work it takes to make a marriage work.

I know I have been there on many occasions. I am (mostly) cognizant of the troubles I caused Pattie, her hurts, and disappointments. There was even a time early in our marriage that I screamed at her, scaring her to the core. But through it all, we worked on our communication and forgiveness. God provided me a wonderful wife, and I am indebted to Him for that perfect gift.

Proverbs 31:10-12
12 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
Ephesians 5:25-29
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

My heart is full of sorrow for the marriages that are being torn asunder. Yet with the frequency for which I am being introduced to these situations, it’s quite possible that God is calling on me to counsel those in need. And hopefully along the way, to those who wish to continue to feed their marital relationship. I think all men deserve a Proverbs 31 wife, and all women deserve an Ephesians 5 husband.

For you who are hurting, who can’t see the path to forgiveness and restoration, who would rather chase their own desires apart from the Lord – to you, I offer Hope. Not mine, but His. And not for my glory, but His.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14, 16
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

There is someone near and dear to me, that when she got married, at best she was Agnostic. Her husband was a strong believer in the Lord. Through his tenacity and dedication, she was consistently exposed to God’s love, His forgiveness, and Christ’s teachings. Today she is a strong Christian, adoring to her husband, and a faithful servant to her King. So I’ve witnessed 1 Corinthians 7; God is faithful.

Similarly, another friend of mine was divorced when I first met her a few years ago. And if I told her then that she would be re-married to her husband, as well as expecting another child, surely she would have stoned me for being a false prophet. And yet God’s spirit moved and reconciled their marriage, just as he has done again and again with his first love – the nation of Israel.

Psalm 68:35
35 O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places.
The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people.
Blessed be God!

So I know that God is faithful. I know God has made marriage to be a holy union between husband and wife. I know God desires reconciliation, not only with Him, but with each other – especially with spouses. And I know God can heal our marriages.

But only if we let Him.

James 4:7-10
Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Note: If you wish for me to pray for you, please leave a comment. You don’t need to be in a bad place – I would be honored to praise God for marriages that are in a good place. You’ll need to sign up, as I want to restrict comments to real people. When doing so, make sure to supply a real first name so I know who to pray for (you can leave the last name just as an initial). In your comment, provide a brief statement on how to pray (e.g. “For our struggles” or “For 21 years of marriage – and for 21 more.”). I also approve each comment before posting, not to restrict what someone has to offer, but to keep out bots and other assorted mechanisms that attack blogs.


    5 comments already | Leave your own comment

  1. 5/27/2015 | 2:31 pm Permalink

    Kevin, this is a wonderful post. Marriage as God intended is truly being attacked today. Satan hates those of us married Christians who are committed to remaining true to God and our covenant marriage vows, and he will do all he can to try to break us up. However, we have One who is greater! James 4:8 is the perfect reminder to all of us: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

    Kevin, this year I began writing a column about marriage for an online Christian magazine called The Relevant Christian (TRC): http://therelevantchristianmagazine.com/2015/04/30/the-marriage-triangle-friendship/. TRC publishes quarterly, and in between those issues I like to share other articles about Christian marriage on my personal blog, This Thing Called Life: https://faithlovejoyhope.wordpress.com/.

    If you feel so led, please check these out. I would really like to share this “Beginnings From Endings” post on my blog in June, so please let me know if you agree with that. I am thankful for the truths you shared in your post.

    Anna Popescu

    • 5/27/2015 | 9:23 pm Permalink

      Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll take a look at your postings as well; hopefully it’s another resource for those who are in need. And, yes, feel free to link the post!

      • 6/15/2015 | 12:50 am Permalink

        Thanks Kevin. I’m sorry I haven’t replied until now but health issues have interfered. I’ll be sharing your post this week.


  2. 6/19/2015 | 2:09 pm Permalink

    Kevin, I shared your post on my blog this morning. Here’s the link: https://faithlovejoyhope.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/beginnings-from-endings/.

    Have a blessed day!


  3. Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  4. Beginnings from Endings | This Thing Called Life . . .

    […] Beginnings from Endings […]